Dating

» tadpole3 - dating

I have known this man for 20 years. His family moved into our small town in junior high. We were friends all through out highschool. We both moved and went through life. Well 2 years ago we both found ourselves back to our home town. I was single and he was living with someone. Over the 2 years I dated, and never found the special one. There is a group of us that all hang out, including him and his live in. I am friends with both of them, we hang out at each other houses and so forth. Anyways a week ago, he asked if I wanted to hang out, maybe catch dinner. Both our kids where gone, and his live in was at work. I agreed it was harmless, but i was wrong. Something clicked, his relationship has been bad for months, and all he did was talk of getting out of it. Well needless to say, we have been seeing each other. He just told his live in he is moving out, and swears its not because of me.
I am so happy with him, we had a strong friendship, so i continue to see if we have more?

-- posted by tadpole3

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds

» Cherie Burbach - dating

In response to dating posted by tadpole3:

It's always a difficult situation when the lines of one relationship trip over into another one. And this is certainly the case with the two of you. It's one reason emotional affairs are such a problem today: when someone feels bad about their relationship they seek out the comfort of a "friend" rather than their partner.

You asked about feeling bad. It sounds like this relationship was looking for a break up. However, keep in mind that if this person is someone who seeks out others in times of stress rather than dealing directly with his partner the same thing could happen to you somewhere down the line.

I would use caution before moving ahead. If this man was really done with his relationship, why didn't he end it before starting another one up with you? These are questions you should ask yourself (and him) to set your relationship off on the right course.

There is another danger in starting another relationship before you technically end the previous one and that is you don't get the distance to truly get over it. While overlapping relationships may feel better because there is no "alone" time, it also causes a lack of perspective that helps in any new relationship going forward.

Feeling bad? What's done is done at this point. You didn't cause the break up but that doesn't mean it was right to date someone in a murky situation like that. Rather than feel bad, use caution at first with this relationship so you don't end up like his live in.

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds