Dating

» dynamite120 - how can I make things alright again?

Perhaps you can offer me some advice.

I have had a close friendship with a man for four years now. We hit it off instantly and I feel he is a "soulmate." I think he'd say the same about me. I love him very much. There is also a strong physical attraction between us. We've discussed it and he says "it can never work."

Last year, when I realised our relationship would not progress from friendship, I left the country for a year to shake off any romantic ideas I had about him and to concentrate on myself. My leaving hit him hard and he almost had a breakdown without me but yet did nothing to stay in touch with me while I was away and sometimes even ignored me when I mailed him to chat. I'm back now and although we still love each other as much as ever, we only meet up occasionally. I have made efforts to hang out with him but he always has an excuse to avoid meeting up or never stays very long. When I pointed out to him that his upset me, he admitted it was wrong but he still goes on dodging me. Now I rarely contact him because it feels to me like I'm compromising him and yet I know if I don't keep trying he will not contact me which would mean I'd never ever get to see him. I miss him.

All of this seems so unecessary because in my heart I know how deeply he loves me and I do him - in a way I've never experienced before. This "cat and mouse" stuff isn't my style though. If it was anyone else but him, I'd tell them to go jump in a lake. I would like things to go back to as they were before when we confided totally and exclusively in each other but it seems he won't let me get close again. I don't want to give up on this but I don't want to hurt either him or myself in the process of trying to save it. What do you think his problem is? What do you think is the best way for me to move forward with this?

Thanks for reading this.

Dynamite

-- posted by dynamite120