Dating

» Cherie Burbach - Do ex's come back?

Your post struck me as very down-to-earth and mature as you look at this situation you're in. Rarely do folks have the ability to see things clearly when they're in the thick of it. That's because, as you said, love is rarely "simple." I can sympathize with your situation.

Your boyfriend has asked for time, but in essence he is also asking you to step aside while he decides what his real feelings are. Since you say this is the guy for you, I recommend giving him a generous amount of time and space so he can figure this out. If you put too much pressure on him, and he ends up choosing you, you may wonder if he would have made that same choice "on his own."

On the other hand, you are not his consolation prize. Let him know that you are giving him this time because you love him, but do tell him (in the most calm, non-threatening way possible) that if he really needs to think this over it does give you the impression that perhaps he wasn't really serious about your relationship.

When all is said and done, this situation is a gift for you. If you two had become engaged or even married, and this girl suddenly came around, she might then be a "fantasy" of sorts to him that could end up hurting your relationship even more.

Set a time limit on his "space," and agree to come back after and discuss his choice. While he is deciding what he wants, you should do the same. Don't hang out with him and talk to him while you do this so you can think clearly. The fact that he wants time to think DOES mean something about your relationship. He could mean he always "wondered" about this other girl or that he wasn't quite sure about you two. But only he knows that for sure and you have to give him the space to do it.