Dating

» ck98119 - Do ex's come back?

In response to Do ex's come back? posted by CherieBurbach:

I am in a situation where I am the "someone new" and my boyfriend's ex has shown up and is trying to get him to leave me.

They broke up because their relationship was long distance and when they both graduated from college she told him that she was going to go to graduate school even farther away. He told her that he couldn't continue the relationship long distance.

We met shortly after and have had an amazing year together. He confessed to me a few weeks ago that she ended up not going to graduate school and is now living in the same city as the two of us. They had been hanging out and she is trying to convince him that they should get back together. He tells me that he's in love with me and that our year together has been the best of his life, but that he feels unfinished about their relationship and needs some time to think things through.

The advice you gave to this person seems to fit (that they broke up for a reason and that she should let him move on and pursue the new love). I don't want to tell him what to do because I feel he should come to the conclusion on his own. I also don't want to give him an ultimatum because all he has asked for is time.

Part of me thinks that if he even needs to pause and think about it, then he's not really in love with me. But, my wiser half knows that love isn't always so simple and can appreciate that he's confused. Also, when you think you could spend the rest of your life with someone, it seems like a cop out to walk away when things get rough/confusing.

Help! I don't want to lose this man. He is my perfect fit. I can't walk away from him, but I don't know how I should act/think/behave/say right now either.

-- posted by ck98119