Dating

» sj1012 - Miserable!

I feel like I'm in limbo. A few months ago, my boyfiend of a year and half and I were hanging out on a weekend, when all of a sudden I got this feeling inside that I just didn't want to see him. It felt like that the entire weekend and I started to really think about if I wanted to be in a relationship with him. A couple weeks later, I told him we should go on a break, and a few weeks after that I just broke it off completely. We talked a bit over summer and even saw each other a couple times (each time we acted affectionate with each other, probably not a good idea). I recently found out he had sex with someone else. I am so upset by it, even though he has every right to do what he wants. We talked about it and he explained that I don't want him, and someone else did. He wants us to still be together and misses me like crazy. I'm miserable. If I don't want to be with him, why can't I just let go??? Maybe I am so sad because he was absolutely perfect. He treated me so well, always taking care of me and being there for me and I started most of our arguments. To this day I still cannot put into words why I broke up with him, I just felt like it was the right thing to do. Why do I feel so miserable!? I'm also in college, and he was my only serious boyfriend, maybe part of me feels like I need to experience some other guys. I'm so scared I will never find a guy who loved me so much like he did and who I got along with so well and comfortably and treated me well.

-- posted by sj1012