Dating

» Cherie Burbach - What do I do?

I sympathize with your situation and thank you for having the courage to write about it.

It seems like there are a few things going on here. Unless your husband (then, fiance) told you the very first time you saw the bra that he wasn't going to do it ever again, it's wrong to assume that behavior will stop once you got married.

If he did say it was just a one time thing, he needs to admit that this is now a problem because he's kept it from you and is getting defensive when you try and talk to him.

You have every right to wonder what he's up to when you are not around. His hiding things from you indicates a need to be secretive, and that's never good in a marriage.

There are couples that work just fine when the man likes wearing female garments. It is a natural part of their relationship with some couples. However, the fact that you found the garments and then have had an occassion to believe he's kept things from you means that the two of you are not on the same page.

You have tried your best to be understanding, but it goes deeper than that. If you haven't done so yet, you will need to have a qualified therapist talk to both of you in order to get past this. It's only when you can both deal with this honestly that things will improve.