Dating

» Cherie Burbach - advice

I'm glad I was able to help, and also happy to hear you've already made the first step to counseling. That's important because it means you're taking control of things, and that's the only real way to bring about change.

Don't look at the time you spent together as wasted. My personal opinion is that every person we date helps us better understand ourselves and makes us better people overall. (To that end, I wrote an article on that here: http://dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/t...

To answer your question, I think a letter thanking her for the time you spent together and the lessons you learned is a great idea. It will help both of you move on. I wouldn't hold out hope for getting back together with her, and wouldn't put any hints of that in the letter. Rather, focus on the things you learned from her in a positive way. Thank her for your time together and wish her the best. And mean it.

After all, you've both got good things in your future, even if it means you can't be together.

After you write the letter, then do your best to move on from your relationship and focus on therapy. Take some time by yourself until you understand the patterns you've created, and before you know it you'll feel like a different person. Then you'll be ready to date again.