A recent Forbes story written by Leslie Talbot talked about a new problem in America: “singlism.”
Talbot says,
- “From the workplace to the voting booth to your own backyard, the message to singles is clear, consistent, and omnipresent: Married: good! Single: bad!”
I gotta say, I agree with her. Especially if you either choose to stay single, or you smartly wait until you meet the exact right person for you before you get married. Singles do get treated differently. I didn’t get married until I was in my late 30s, mostly because I was just plain ole afraid of getting married. I also didn’t meet the right guy until then. And those two circumstances are probably related. I didn’t have the best examples in my life of women who were happily married, what I did have was a lot of women who settled just because they were afraid to turn another year older “without a man.” As soon as they got married and had kids, they became miserable. (And started hating their husbands, to boot.)
This doesn't happen to every woman that gets married. It certainly hasn't happened to me. But I did wait a long time to meet the right guy. I knew he was the right guy. A few of my friends had their doubts about their guys, had doubts about getting married, but did it anyway! A few of them were turning 30 and freaking out that they would still have to date. A few of them wanted children so they married a guy, had kids, and then seemed to resent having their husband around.
I took note of all these circumstances. In the meantime, though, I also took heat sometimes because I was waiting for the right person. I got saddled with extra work projects (for no extra money), friends that sometimes didn’t invite me along because there would be all couples and “I might feel awkward.” Guess what? I never felt awkward until someone tried to make me feel so. Sometimes I’d brush off their comments and ignore their stupidity. Sometimes, though, they entered my brain and I felt odd and ridiculous. As if I was waiting for something that didn’t exist. As if I was too picky!
Guess what? I wasn’t too picky. And you, dear reader, aren’t either.
To quote Talbot:
- “Take my word for it--a loveless marriage will sap your spirit and your sanity a lot more quickly than a lifetime of dateless Saturday nights. For me, then, and for many of the 41% of adults in this country who are single, singlehood is not merely the right choice. It is the responsible choice.”
I second that!
