Is it possible to be too choosy in the dating world?
Dear Dating@Suite101:
I’m 27 and currently have a great life. When I was 20, I was engaged to real loser, and I almost married him! Since then I’ve been a lot choosier with who I go out with. Sometimes I don’t go on a date for months at a time. My mom thinks I am too picky and should just date more. I say, I’m never gonna get involved with a loser like I did when I was 20. What should I tell my mom?
First of all, kudos to you for realizing when you were just 20 that the guy wasn’t right for you! You did the right thing in not marrying him. And you were right to be cautious when you started dating again. Too often, people jump from relationship to relationship with the same issues they never seem to entirely work out.
Having said that, I think there is a big difference between being choosy and limiting yourself. Sometimes, people don’t seem attractive to us until we get to know them a bit. That’s why dating (simple, platonic, no strings attached dating) is a good thing.
First, thank your mom for her concern. Then tell her you’ve got it under control. Second, get Kate Taylor’s book, Not Tonight, Mr. Right for more on this subject. Finally, agree to a few dates. You don’t have to marry the next guy that comes along, but you should experience the benefits of dating lots of different people. It’s only in doing that, that will you be able to know when you do meet the right one for you.
