This reader use to hang with someone she just can't get out of her mind. Is that so wrong?
Dear Dating@Suite101:
I’ve been seeing this guy for a few years now, and I’m very happy. In fact, we’re getting married in a few weeks. My question is: I’m kind of obsessed with another guy I used to know. I haven’t seen the guy in several years, although I do call him from time to time. I sent him an invitation to my wedding and he never sent back his response. Still, I want him to come. I want to see how he’s doing. Is that so wrong?
To put it bluntly: YES, it’s wrong. You’re getting married and you’re hung up on a guy that you haven’t seen in years? You say you call him from time to time, but that doesn’t mean the guy cares about you. You don’t say whether this guy was a serious relationship or passing fling. I’d be willing to bet it was a passing fling.
This guy isn’t going to get back to you. He isn’t responding to your invitation because he doesn’t care. He probably rolls his eyes every time you call. Forget about him.
The real question you need to ask yourself is: why hang on to an unhealthy fantasy when you’re getting married in only a few weeks? Consider your answer long and hard before you go through with your wedding. The guy you’re pining over probably has a happy relationship, while you on the other hand are getting married while your head, heart, and maturity are off somewhere else.
