"The Greek word from which we get our English word gift is charis, which means 'grace,' or an undeserved gift!"
As we continue exploring Dr. Gary's Chapman's "Five Love Languages for Singles," Love Language #2 is gifts. Is this your primary love language? Read on to find out!
Dr. Chapman states, "A gift is a tangible object that says, 'I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this. I love you.'" Gifts can be simple or extravagant, and last for only a brief while (a flower picked in the yard from your child) or a lifetime (a piece of jewelry).
"A gift by its very nature is not payment for services rendered. . . . A gift is given without strings attached, or it ceases to be a gift."
"The gift can be any size, shape, color or price. It may be purchased, found, or made. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little."
To figure out the gifts we should give our loved ones requires little more than for us to truly tune in and listen to them. If we listen carefully and closely enough, they will tell us what gifts they would love receiving. Listen for hobbies they have, things they collect, and areas of interest.
One of my favorite parts of this chapter in the book is when Dr. Chapman gives a sample script for asking if someone would accept a gift from you. It is important to know before spending a lot of money on something that could potentially not be returned and is not welcome to your gift recipient!
"I want to do something really nice for you this holiday, but I don't want to surprise you. Would you be willing to accept _______________ (name the gift) as an expression of my love for you? No strings attached. I just want you to know that I love you."
In the chapter, a man named Chris discovers the girl he is seeing has gifts as her primary love language. Dr. Chapman tells Chris, "A gift says to her, 'He was thinking about me. He loves me.'"
"All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved. . . . if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four, and they will be like icing on the cake."
At the end of each chapter, Dr. Chapman provides questions to ponder.
Two I'd like to highlight for you to be thinking about are: 1. What is the last gift you gave and to whom did you give it? 2. In your conversation with others, do you consciously listen for gift ideas? Would keeping a list in your notebook be helpful to you?"
