You only have a few minutes to figure out if you want to go on a date with someone. What should find out about them?
Speed Dating is a great way for singles to meet and mix, but if you aren’t sure what to find out about your “dates,” you’ll waste every precious minute you have with the person in front of you. After all, you don’t have the luxury of talking for hours or even taking a few minutes of nervous energy to verbally fumble.
Since you only have a short period of time with each person you need to get an idea of their personality and interests to better determine if you’d like to see them again. Don’t ask questions that are so deep the person in front of you will have to waste valuable minutes thinking of a possible response. On the other hand, don’t spit out boring questions you each will have probably answered a dozen times or more in the last hour.
You need to do more than just ask open-ended questions. After all, this isn’t a normal get-to-know-you blab session. Here are some examples of good and bad things to ask.
Good questions:
- What do you do for fun? This will help you find out immediately if you two have the same interests.
- What do you do in your free time that you’re absolutely passionate about? Something you could lose yourself in for hours? This will give you an idea if someone is an obsessed collector, a music nerd, gaming geek, etc., and will give you a glimpse into their personality. After all, if someone can’t muster up some passion when they’re talking about things they love doing in life – what will they get excited about?
- What’s your favorite movie? Ask this instead of “What kinds of movies do you like?” A person’s favorite movie will help you understand what touches their heart or gets them fired up.
- Like to cook? What’s your best meal? Most of us need to eat from time to time. Some of us love to grill, some love to go out, and some wouldn’t dream of messing up a perfectly fine kitchen by turning on the oven.
Bad questions:
- If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it? This is a fantasy question, and while it might be fun to dream out it won’t give you an idea of the person’s true likes and dislikes.
- Have you ever committed a crime? While this is important to know, you’re not likely to get an honest answer if the person has done something illegal, and if not, you’ll only offend them.
- How many people have you slept with? This question would fall under the “TMI – too much information” category for a speed (or any first) date. If you two hit it off you’ll have plenty of time to discuss this later.
- Do you want kids? It’s important for you to know this, but not on a speed date. Just find out if you want to see them for a real date first.
- How long have you been doing speed dating? Why not just ask them what the weather was like today? The answer will mean about the same to you.
- What are you looking for in a relationship? This will take too long to properly answer. Assume they want to meet a nice person to go out with, and leave it at that.
Related:
First Date Conversation Starters
