How to Introduce Your Date
Friend? Lover? Date? Which Romantic Titles to Use in Introductions
Romantic relationships are tough enough without worrying too much about how other people see the two or you.
‘Girlfriend’ according to one dictionary definition turns up the following: a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically involved. ‘Boyfriend’, on the other hand, is a man who is the lover of a girl or young woman. Seemingly, these titles are gender-specific. In these distinctly Victorian impressions, girls are “romantically involved” conjuring up images of candles and red roses; while boys are “lovers” - which hints at a specifically sexual relationship.
Referring to someone as your ‘girlfriend’ or your ‘boyfriend’ is a specific description. To most, it suggests not so much a romantic interest, but a seriousness, an exclusivity or an announcement of intention.
Relationships have changed. People no longer grow up believing that you have sex only with the person to whom you are married, nor are people raised to believe that you sleep only with a person you love. All types of romantic partners are classified as boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s up to the individuals to decide …or not to decide.
Until recently, it was generally understood that the terms boyfriend/girlfriend meant someone you were seeing seriously. It hearkens back to the 1950s, when girls got pinned and couples went steady. We all know now that there was much more going on below the surface that wasn’t so innocent.
The title of boyfriend/girlfriend carries with it the weight of a future, climbing a ladder, building a life together, and choosing the correct mate with the ultimate goal of wedded bliss.
But love, emotion, the way you feel about someone is not so easily defined, and it changes, sometimes day to day, even hour to hour. And it is different for everyone. No one can ever really know how someone else feels. And so we shouldn’t try to define love, emotion, and passion.
Trying to rationalize emotion is futile and frustrating.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend is ideally someone who is a friend, but more than a friend, a lover who is also your friend and someone who someday may become your legal spouse. Most of us know immediately upon meeting someone whether or not they could be a great love, or just a friend. Most likely somewhere in the grey zone in between.
The fun is in figuring it out.
It can be confusing trying to establish what you are, what this relationship is, or how you should introduce someone. “This is my…friend,Sarah”, “This is my lover, Sam.” “This is the girl I’m dating…”
How about: “This is Michael.” And allow your actions to speak the rest.
