Using Body Language to Advantage
More than half of what we communicate comes from our gestures and expressions. What are you saying without words?
As a trainer who teaches and presents on both the topics of overall communications skills and assertive behavior/communication, I stop and think, "How can everything I discuss professionally be transferred and applied to our personal lives?"
Listed below are important tips to consider for your dating relationships, but other personal relationships in your life as well. Read, internalize, implement, and e-mail me about the results.
These days, we so frequently do not communicate in-person face-to-face but rather in different time zones using instant technology: e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging ...
There are distinct pros and cons to each. For instance, I have been tempted to e-mail when I don't think I can say something to a person's face. Not because it's mean, but because it's difficult to say and emotionally charged.
Sometimes I enjoy e-mails because it buys me some time to think about my response. I can type out my feelings in a message as a "draft," and then come back and edit. I can organize my thoughts, and change words around before hitting the "send" button.
In person or on the phone how many times have you said something, and then thought, "Oh, I wish I could take that back." Or, "That came out totally wrong!" Or, "What I'm really trying to say here is . ."
A University of California professor came up with what's known as the 7:38:55 rule for face-to-face communications. When communicating in-person 7% of the message that is conveyed comes through our choice of words, or what we say, 38% of the meaning comes from our voice tone.
The majority of the meaning, 55%, comes from from your body language including your facial expressions. Are your arms crossed and folded indicating you could be closed off the other person and their ideas and suggestions? Are you sitting up tall or leaning in to indicate you're eager and interested? Do you make direct eye contact with the person to indicate openness and honesty, or are you avoiding eye contact indicating possibly dishonesty?
