Could Acts of Service be the primary way in which you wish to receive love? Does this love language speak louder to you than the others?
As we continue exploring Dr. Gary's Chapman's "Five Love Languages for Singles," Love Language #3 is acts of service. If you have yet to determine your primary love language, could this be it? Read on to find out!
For you is it more meaningful to serve others or to be served? Dr. Chapman states, "In every vocation, those who truly excel have a genuine desire to serve others." We return to companies and customer service representatives who have our best interests at heart, are genuinely friendly and willing to help, and listen and respond to our needs.
Dr. Chapman does take part of the chapter to
clarify a couple things about acts of service. These must be service given freely by the giver, not things done because the person has been manipulated or guilted in to it. For example, "If you really loved me, you would do all my laundry for me and hand-wash my car." You also can not coerce someone to do something for you out of fear by threatening them.
"Life is filled with opportunities to express love by acts of service," Dr. Chapman states. We need not look too long or far to find things we could do for others to show them we care for them and want them to feel helped and happy.
Do you feel that 'actions definitely speak louder than words'? In this case, acts of service likely ranks higher on your love language list than say, words of affirmation. You may somewhat feel that 'talk is cheap,' but your partner or mate can show you they love you by checking the windshield washer fluid in your car and your tire pressure.
If you suspect your loved ones primary love language is acts of service, look for opportunities to help them and do things for them. This will make them feel so loved by being taken care of! Dr. Chapman recommends once you identify something you could do for them, to ask. "Before doing an act of service, you'd better ask, 'Would it be helpful to you if I did . .'" This is the easiest way to find out if you are helping them sincerely and making them feel loved or doing something that they would honestly prefer to do themselves.
If you suspect your primary love language is acts of service and your partner does not speak this loudly enough to you, teach them about it. Perhaps you could identify some tasks or things they could do for you (helping make supper, or clear the table and load the dishwasher) and it would really make you feel as though they care. Gently make some suggestions but remember it has to be freely given on their part to truly be an act of service.
