The Power of Giving and Receiving Gifts

Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages

Mar 2, 2009 Thaddeus Lawrence

Gifts are a visible and tangible symbol of love that can effectively express your love and bring out the best in people, resulting in greater happiness and health.

Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Love Languages [Northfield Publishing, 1995], identifies five different ways in which people communicate their love to one another. When you understand and know your partner’s love language, you can effectively communicate your love in such a way that he/she feels love.

Gifts as a Love Language

One of the basic five love languages is receiving gifts, a verbal expression of love and appreciation. An unconditional gift says “I was thinking of you and thought you might like this. I love you.”

Jeannette Haviland-Jones, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University studied the scientific power of flowers (note that this is a PDF file) and found that flowers create instant delight and happiness, and induce powerful positive emotions. Upon receiving a gift of flowers, female study participants responded with true smiles, showed improved episodic memory and reported positive moods that lasted even three days later.

M.J. Ryan, award-winning author of Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gratitude [Conari Press, 2007], corroborates the findings and observations that gifts increase human connectivity and bonding: “Gift recipients experience compelling connections with givers...”

Gift Giving as Universal

Gift giving is not a new idea. Communities around the world mark religious festivals, secular holidays and important dates with presents and sharing of food. Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanks Giving, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, and Valentine’s Day are just a few of such occasions where gift exchange and a deepening of ties with friends and loved ones take place.

But why should the giving and receiving of presents be limited to particular occasions? Some may resist the notion that gift giving is an expression of love, especially when they have entrenched attitudes about money. For example they may believe that money should be saved and not spent on buying presents. Adjusting these beliefs, they may come to see that gifts to be their partner’s primary love language and the money is not spent on the gift itself but on the deepening of their relationship.

Gift Giving Ideas

Gift giving does not make someone a spendthrift any more than gift receiving makes a person greedy. Of course, you may choose to splurge on a pair of tickets for a romantic getaway to an exotic location, precious gemstone jewelry or a state-of-the-art technological gadget.

Alternatively, you may opt for a cheaper but no less special gift of a romantic dinner together, a bouquet of her favourite flowers or a favourite photo of the two of you blown up in a photo frame. Perhaps you may prefer the personal touch of burning a compilation of love songs onto a CD or writing a series of poems or prose that speaks volumes about your feelings or hand making a special card.

Giving and receiving gifts is a universal love language. Whatever gift ideas you may have, remember that they need to neither be expensive nor numerous; if your mate resonates with this love language, a sincere gift brings happiness and security to the relationship. It is an effective way to improve one’s emotional health and to show gratitude and appreciation.

The copyright of the article The Power of Giving and Receiving Gifts in Dating is owned by Thaddeus Lawrence. Permission to republish The Power of Giving and Receiving Gifts in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Power of Gifts

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