Buddies that sleep together from time to time. A good idea?
If you’re like many singles, there exists a person in your life from the opposite sex that for whatever reason never interested you enough to date. As time goes on, perhaps there are even moments of flirtation with your pal and thoughts of a sexual nature. Perhaps one of you was always seeing someone, making it impossible for you to date each other.
If you break up with your partner or otherwise find yourself alone, this friend may seem like a viable solution to get over feelings of loneliness. But before you jump into bed with someone you care about only as a friend, consider these points.
Sex Will Change the Nature of Your Friendship
Adding sex to any relationship – casual or not – changes it. So if you’re having intercourse with a friend it irrevocably changes the way that relationship will proceed. It’s possible that the two of you will remain friends, but you’ll never be as close as you were before you crossed the physical line. Besides that, it may take several years before you are truly able to think of your friend in the platonic way you did before you slept with him or her.
Casual Sex Isn’t So Casual
One mistake people make in a “bed buddy” situation is thinking that casual sex with a friend is no big deal. There are usually underlying feelings of attraction involved already when two friends decide to have sex. If one person likes the other more, it can cause embarrassment and hurt feelings.
The other problem is when you have sexual intercourse your body naturally releases hormones which are shown to increase feelings of love and attraction. In other words, if you’re trying to deny your feelings, you’re kidding yourself.
“Friends With Benefits” Isn’t a Test to See if You Could Be in a Relationship
Some singles believe that if they casually have sex with their friend, the possibility exists that they might fall in love or at the very least start up a relationship. This is false. If you want to date someone you once thought of as a friend, fine. But by jumping in the sack when you’re both lonely, you’re admitting your friend isn’t really good enough for you and the only reason you’re with him or her is out of boredom, loneliness, or laziness.
Believe You Will Meet the Right Person
Often a “friends with benefits” situation begins because singles simply get tired of waiting for the right person to come along. This is especially true if you have been single for a while, or if the rest of your social group is married. It can be difficult to have patience and trust that there is someone special out there for you.
Having a “Bed Buddy” Affects Future Relationships
This is especially true if you’ve tried to stay pals with him or her. When you meet someone new, how will you feel about your friend then? Will you really want to continue to hang out with him or her once you’ve finally fallen in love for real?
Many singles actually lose the friendship they once had with someone they decided to bed temporarily. People that were close for years as friends find it slightly awkward to be around each other when they try and have relationships with other people. More than that, when you know you have someone you can always fall back into bed with, it makes it more difficult to truly let go when you meet someone new. You end up sabotaging a new relationship before it even begins.
