First Date Jitters
Avoid rehearsing a script, be genuine and sincere, and trust that half the battle is getting to this moment.
Apr 10, 2006
Are you rehearsing your "first date script" for the evening? You've got it in your head, or worse, written out! You are committed to memorizing and sticking to this so he will find you composed, confident, and brilliant. Through keen crafting of the language, you have worked in, miraculously, all your biggest accomplishments with some funny anecdotes as well. STOP!
You will get nervous, forget what to say next, and end up freaking out right in front of the very person you like so much and are trying so hard to impress. Want to know what's impressive?
Originality! Ditch your script and go with the flow. Also, genuineness is impressive. To prepare for your next nerve-racking first date, try these simple tips instead.
1. Realize that if the person is going out with you, you have already somehow caught their eye, intrigued them, and they find you interesting enough to commit to spending some of their precious free time with you. You didn't have your initial encounter with them scripted, did you? So relax, getting the date was part of the battle.
2. Your genuineness and sincerity is impressive; use it! Pay them a compliment or just express your excitement for the evening that lies ahead. Enthusiasm is contagious!!
3. Think about things you have in common with this person, or things they have mentioned you want to learn more about. Remember, it's a date, not a job interview (although they feel the same sometimes, can't they?).
You will not be doing all the talking; if you are, pause, look right at your date, and say, "But enough about me. What I'd really like to hear more about is . . ." Ideally in a first or early date, one person does not monopolize the whole conversation; the dialogue flows easily and freely.
4. Focus on letting the real you shine through. This is nothing you can or need to rehearse or practice; it happens naturally. You want someone you can be yourself with and are comfortable with, and someone who has and will continue to accept you for who you are. So don't focus on rehearsing a "character" or being someone you are not.
If there is a match in your personalities, it will reveal itself naturally and you will be on another date with this person before you know it.
