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Offering Words of AffirmationA review of Dr. Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages for Singles
The language of affirmation entails many dialects - gratitude, encouragement, praise and kindness. How will practicing this language make you fluent in love?
By making a conscious decision to learn to give and receive extremely important words of affirmation, we are able to change relationships with family, co-workers, dates and partners. Begin by making a list of some positive phrases you could say to those around you. Notice that after affirming others they will do the same for you on a regular basis. Dr. Gary Chapman, in his bookThe Five Love Languages for Singles, suggests there are many dialects within the love language of words of affirmation. Words of appreciation are for "expressing sincere gratitude for some act of service rendered." The author reminds us that there are also words of encouragement. "The word encourage means 'to inspire courage.'" "Then there is the dialect of praise, recognizing someone's accomplishment. . . all of us are achievers. We set ourselves goals to accomplish things. When we accomplish them, we like to be recognized. . . . In personal relationships, words of praise meet the need for recognition." The final dialect of words of affirmation is kind words. Here Dr. Chapman discusses not only what we say but how we say it. He states, "The same sentence can have two different meanings, depending on how you say it. . . . Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. . . . People usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use." Please continue to remember the importance of your tone of voice when you are delivering words of encouragement, praise, and kind words overall. Your voice tone will reinforce your words if warm, genuine and sincere! Dr. Chapman concludes the chapter with, "Words of affirmation enhance relationships. Harsh, condemning words destroy relationships." I would also add that a lack of any words at all will definitely destroy relationships. For those people who need others to express to them how they feel, a lack of communication and expressiveness ruins things too!
The copyright of the article Offering Words of Affirmation in Dating is owned by Joy Huber. Permission to republish Offering Words of Affirmation in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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