  |
|
|
|
First Date Topics to AvoidExes, therapy, medications, odd personal habits, and intimate emotional secrets are too much too soon.
Once the first date has been secured, one can't help but wonder, "What should we talk about all night?" Some suggestions...
Stay away from these topics and a second date should ensue! First and foremost, one should not discuss his or her ex at length. This includes ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-fiancés and ex-spouses! This date is about potentially starting something new with someone new, and the slate has been wiped clean. Please do not ruin your evening by going on and on about why the relationship with the ex ended, what you could have done differently, who they are with now, where they are now, and how all of this has made you feel. Comments like, "I'm still so angry (insert other negative emotion here!), sad, disappointed, frustrated, or hurt." are not the right way to begin what could be a very lovely evening. Leave your past where it belongs - in the past. Secondly, avoid references to therapy or 'coping,' with the aforementioned ex, any addictions, or family issues. Sentences that start off with, "My therapist says that I just need to . . ." are not for a first date. Also, "My sponsor says . . ." and "My support group tells me . . ." should be re-phrased or dropped altogether! It's perfectly fine to be in therapy to effectively deal with life situations, however not something one should bring up as a new person is just getting to know you! When spending time with someone who is trying to decide through the course of the evening if you are someone they want to spend even more time with avoid: A - odd or unusual habits or activities. Allow your date to get to know you and love you and discover these fun quirks at a deeper stage of a relationship. B - taking medicine -hormones, antidepressants, etc. - in front of your date. How jazzed would you be to set-up a second date with someone who pulls out pills from a pill box coded by day? The key in breezing through date #1 and getting to date #2 is to have fun. Keep it light and simple, and let your personality shine through. Much like in a job interview, don't expose the costly mistakes you made on a previous job, instead save bad experiences for a deeper, more intimate relationship stage. Focus on the strengths and good qualities you possess, and what makes the two of you compatible. Watch for body language and facial expressions; this usually lets you know what's interesting, what should be dropped or when a new subject should be broached.
The copyright of the article First Date Topics to Avoid in Dating is owned by Joy Huber. Permission to republish First Date Topics to Avoid in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
|
|
|
|
