you also don’t want to give the date (you’re not interested in going out with again!) the wrong idea! What to say and do?!
I think we’ve all experienced this one! You somehow end up on a first date with someone, and have come to realize throughout this date that you’ll be perfectly fine if there’s not another! In fact, you’d quite prefer to use your valuable time in other ways! J
On the other hand, you don’t want to hurt your date’s feelings. They have also invested time in you, and quite possibly money if they paid for things like dinner, a movie, drinks, etc. What are some ideas to tactfully politely yet firmly end the occasion?
I can’t help but think about the Friends television show episode here where Rachel fixes Chandler up with her boss JoAnna! JoAnna thinks Chandler is great, and if I recall correctly, Chandler thinks JoAnna is a “big dull dud!” Doesn’t she also have eye goop in the corners of her eyes? Oh!
Chandler errs because he doesn’t know how to end the date without hurting JoAnna’s feelings, so he keeps concluding with, “This was fun, let’s do it again sometime. I’ll call you!” Really he has no intention of calling!
How many of us say or have said this because we don’t know how else to end?
Try some of these tips instead, and avoid extreme awkwardness, and also lying or being too rude! Good Luck!
Use the words and phrases that are most natural for you! You may need to adjust slightly to fit your particular dating situation, but I wanted to provide a framework for you here.
“It’s been great meeting you. Thanks for everything tonight. Take Care!”
“Thank you so much for (insert dinner and movie or whatever the case here). I enjoyed meeting you and wish you the best in your professional and personal endeavors!”
“I enjoyed meeting and getting to know you better. I don’t believe we have enough in common to pursue a romantic relationship at this time. Best of Luck in finding that right person for you. Take Care!”
I’ve also stuck out my hand to shake hands with the person as the evening neared a close. I said, “It was great meeting you; enjoy the rest of your weekend!” It might have seemed a little business-y or awkward, however at the same time got my point across that I viewed this as more that type of relationship vs. anything remotely personal and potentially intimate. When a date shakes your hand, it’s not a good sign if you were interested in them romantically, but there are worse ways to end an evening. Such as, “I’ll call you!” when you have no intent to call!
Try to stay away from “I’ll call you.” “We should do this again sometime.”
The idea here is to say what you mean, mean what you say, so say it in a firm tone of voice and with a polite smile, but don’t be mean when you say it!
