Do’s and Don’ts to Ask Someone Out
Get Your Love Interest To Say Yes With These Simple Rules
What's the best way to ask for a date?
When you meet someone new and you both seem to like each other, it can seem maddening when neither of you makes the first move to ask for a date. You may wonder if the person of your interest is as fascinated in you, or if you’re just imaging the chemistry you feel. By hesitating, you may even lose the opportunity to find out if you’re right for each other. So what should you do? Here are some top do’s and don’ts when it comes to asking someone out on a date.
Do: Gage their interest.
Just because you’re head over heals for them doesn’t mean they’ve even noticed you yet. Engage in eye contact and smile to see if they do the same. If your smiled is returned, make basic conversation with them and see if they do the same.
Don’t: Over-think their response level.
If you are easily able to chat with your object of interest, take that as an encouraging sign. Don’t over analyze the situation, and wonder if they are responding to you because they’re being polite or have nothing else to do. Remember that by trying to get them to communicate on the most basic level, you’re just getting a vibe for their potential interest in being asked out.
Do: Give thought to what you’re going to say.
When it does come time to ask for a date, think about exactly the way you want it to sound and the words you are going to use. Practice in front of a mirror (when no one else is around preferably!) Often we think something sounds cool in our heads and when we say it out loud we just cringe at how dumb it sounds. Run over a few choices in your mind and then say them out loud so you can hear what they sound like.
Don’t: Try to be someone you’re not.
It’s natural to want to come off super-funny or clever when you ask someone out, but resist the urge to be anything but yourself. Even if you are nervous and stumble a bit, you’ll sound sincere (and therefore, attractive) just by showing your genuine interest in the person.
Do: Be clear!
Make is absolutely apparent that you are asking for a date and have a definite activity in mind when you do the asking. Remember that most people don’t want to assume that someone is interested in them for fear of being rejected. So even if it seems painfully obvious that you’re into them, they may just think you’re being nice unless you are very clear in how you ask them out. For example:
- Wrong way: “Wanna go out this weekend?”
- Right way: “I have two tickets to the Joe Blow concert on Friday. Would you like to go with me?”
- Wrong way: “Let’s hang out sometime. Here’s my number.”
- Right way: “How about grabbing a coffee with me tonight after class? Starbucks at six?”
- Wrong way: “You’re really hot.”
- Right way: “Would you have dinner with me Thursday night?”
Don’t: Take the rejection (if there is one) personally.
You’ll miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. Look at any sports analogy (and dating can definitely be considered a sport!) and you’ll see that the record breakers are also the ones with the highest percentage of misses. Point being, you’ll only be remembered for your successful attempts. If you don’t make too much out of the fact you’re being turned down, no one else will either.
Do: Keep trying until you meet the one for you!
