Many of us these days spend more time tied up in our careers than we do outside the office. The office can be a tempting place to look for relationships and love!
Is this a "do" or "don't?"
I have heard and read both horror stories and amazing stories of people finding lasting relationships, even true love and marriage, in the workplace. I’m not here at this point to say if this is right or wrong; I’m sure there are strong opinions both ways. Listed below are some things to consider when contemplating getting more than a paycheck from your job!
Have you ever dated someone you work with? Have you ever been tempted too? How did it work out? Usually I hear extremes of it working out beautifully or disastrously; e-mail me your stories of blending work/relationships at dating@suite101.com!
First and foremost, to make an educated decision, you must be completely aware of what you are getting into here.
My number one recommendation would be to double-check your employee handbook, and check to see if your company has a policy on this! It may sound humorous, but many companies are instituting explicit written policies either prohibiting or expressing they do allow work/dating relationships. Some companies I have heard of permit peers to date, but not those in a boss/subordinate relationship, etc. Therefore, you can date those who are laterals to you in the organization, but not those above you on the food chain or below you in your department or others.
Next, I encourage you to consider, “How will you feel if it doesn’t work out?” While we like to give people the benefit of the doubt, let’s assume the worst here. Will you feel awkward being around this person in staff meetings, embarrassed because he’s seen you naked and could share very intimate details with other co-workers and worse, management, or angry or sad if it turns out “he’s just not that into you?”
Most of us don’t particularly enjoy running in to our ex right after the split; in fact, following a break-up I tend to try to stay away from places I know I could run in to them for awhile. It’s just too painful to see them right away after the split; try walking in to the office each and every morning and seeing them. Worse yet, depending on how closely you work together, seeing them all day!
If you broke up, would one of you leave the company? An option you’d always have is to leave the company if it got too bad or awkward, but if you really loved the job/career/industry, this could present a significant professional challenge, trying to relocate to new work.
A final consideration would be if you’re going to try to keep it under wraps or if you’re going to share with co-workers and office pals. If you’re going to try to keep it under wraps, I would suggest being very discreet because if people consistently even see you walking in to and out of the office at the same time, rumors can begin and people will be asking nosy questions. If you’re going to be out in the open with your relationship, you may become a popular and frequent target for office conversation and gossip. Again, people will be asking nosy questions! “So, Katie, how’s the romance with Adam going this week?” Do you want to subject yourself to that?
With as much time as we all spend on our careers these days though, it’s a popular place to find dates, romance, and even long-lasting love. The attraction to a co-worker may not be something you can shake. When you lock eyes with her over Project Timeline Status Meetings you may feel something you’ve never felt before! If she truly seems to be everything you’d ever been looking for and then some, it may be well worth it.
Isn’t real lasting love worth sacrificing anything for?
That’s exactly what this whole debate is about!
