Dating An Ex . . . Again!
Why did the relationship end? Who ended it and how much time has passed? What will be different if you reunite?
Have you recently got back together with an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend? Are you thinking about getting back together with someone you've dated previously?
We have all been there - you break up with someone or they break up with you and at the time it seems right but things change, or additional time doesn't dull the pain and longing. If you are thinking about trying to get back together with someone you've dated before, there are a few things to consider.
Before you pick up the phone or send that e-maill, think it through before re-kindling a flame that should have gone out long ago.
1. Why did it end before? Possible reasons include:
-you had an awkward time and walked away vs. ample time time to allow the relationship to "blossom"
-you had a fight and decided to end it vs. working through it and learning from the experience
- one cheated on the other or treated the other completely inappropriately
- the other party ended it and left you shocked and bewildered
2. Who ended it? If it was you, then you have a good understanding of why and why you want to try again. If it was the other party, then what sign do you have that they'd want to try again?
3. How long has it been since it ended? Break-ups can be very painful, and can leave you lonely. Don't confuse feelings of loneliness or boredom with wanting the person back. Just because you are bored or miss having someone to go out with does not mean you should contact your ex. They are still the same person, and if you're truly not compatible, getting back together will not change the fact that you do not share the same goals and life mission.
4. Why do you want to get back together? Why do you miss them? What do you miss about them? Why do you think you're in love with them? What do you love about them?
5. Why would it work this time?
Once you have answered these questions, if it still makes sense to contact this person, then go for it. If you see them, and can find a time to meet face-to-face or talk in person, that is best. You get the benefit of their body language, and facial expressions combined with what they are saying.
A phone conversation would be the next best way to approach this. E-mail is good for saving face, because it's not as difficult to get bad news via e-mail, however, the response could be delayed which might be difficult to bear.
