Are You a Bad Breaker Upper?
What It Means When You Just Stop Calling or Say Goodbye Via Email
Jul 10, 2007
You don't have to remain friends with every one of your ex's, however if the following signs describe you, you may be a "Bad Breaker Upper."
Are the men or women you’ve dated happy to see you out on the street? Or do they scowl as you pass by even though they are long over you? Breaking up properly is just as important as asking someone out, so if any of the following are your preferred method of ending a relationship, you may need to rethink your strategy.
You Wait Until You Have Someone New Before You Break Up
- It’s natural to think over a decision like breaking up with someone, but if you know you are definitely going to end your relationship and yet stay with them until you meet someone else, you’re doing both you and your partner a disservice. Whether you realize it or not, you are probably already acting differently toward your partner and causing unnecessary tension just because you don’t want to be alone. Here’s the thing, some time by yourself after a break up is a good thing. By having someone “waiting in the wings” you’re not giving yourself the necessary grieving time to properly move on. If you have issues that seem to be repeated in each relationship you’re in, consider spending some time alone before you date anyone else.
You Just Stop Calling
- Refusing to connect with your partner or return their calls is a form of manipulation and game playing. Perhaps you believe you’re avoiding conflict by simply “ignoring” your partner until they understand that they’ve been dumped, buy why cause that kind of confusion? It’s cowardly and immature. While telling someone you want to break up may be unpleasant, it’s the right thing to do. Playing games with someone’s emotions in order to bolster your ego will only bring your partner heartache and you bad karma. Plus it’s easy to avoid – just tell them already!
You Break Up Via Email, or Some Other Inappropriate Method
- Ever see the Sex in the City episode where someone breaks up with Carrie via a post-it note? The writers of the show made a joke out of it, and in the end it was her boyfriend Burger that looked like an idiot. The same is true for real life – you only make yourself look stupid when you break up via a method that does not allow your partner to respond or ask questions. Perhaps you feel you are getting the last word in the relationship by sending an email, but you are actually robbing yourself of closure. Look at it this way, if you don’t properly end one relationship, you’ll bring unneeded baggage into the next one.
You End It Immediately After A Great Time
- Some folks know they’re going to break up with someone but want to wait until after a vacation or holiday in order to “ease” the news to their partner. While it’s true you should always be respectful of your partner’s feelings, breaking up with them following a time when the two of you have enjoyed each other’s company can be especially difficult. You might know you’re going to eventually break up and have prepared yourself for this knowledge, but your partner still has to come to terms with it, which might be even harder after a vacation because that’s when they least expect it.
You Say Goodbye In An Extremely Public Place
- Face it – your partner is probably going to be upset when you tell them you’re ending your relationship. Accept this fact and allow your partner the time and space they need to digest this information. If you do it in a public place, your partner won’t be able to ask questions or allow themselves the proper amount of emotion in order for it to sink in. Do both you and your partner a favor by ending your relationship on a good note.
The copyright of the article Are You a Bad Breaker Upper? in Dating is owned by Cherie Burbach. Permission to republish Are You a Bad Breaker Upper? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
